Coming from a 16 year old who hates being around her parents, and can't WAIT to get out of the house, I wish my parents wouldn't be so strict and would let me do whatever I wanted to. I always say, when I have kids, I'm going to let them do whatever they want, just make sure that they are safe, but in all reality I think once you REALLY have kids, that motherly instinct takes over...
I'm not going to be overly protective and strict with my kids, and I'll let them have freedom, just as long as they don't ruin my trust.
I know that I've ruined my parents trust, and it just kind of screws everything over..
I want my child to make good choices, yet know that they have to try new things, and make mistakes to learn from. If they screw up, I'd rather have them come and tell me about it, instead of hearing it through the grapevine, if they come out and tell me, in a sense it will gain my trust even more.
I want them to be able to talk to me about things. Some things that they do as teenagers might scare me, but I'd much rather know what their doing instead of them hiding it from me.
My mom, always makes it seem like I can come to her with anything and talk to her about anything, but when I actually DO it, she goes nuts and doesn't take it the way that she says she will. I want my kids to look at me as someone that they can come and talk to about problems, but then again they will have to know that I'm still the one in charge and I make the rules.
I know my Mom hates nothing more than when I try to tell her what to do, and when I think that I make the rules. And yeah I can understand why.
I'd want my kids to know that as a kid, I wasn't perfect, at all. I didn't follow the rules, and if I was told not to do something, it made me want to do it more..
So it's not going to suprize me if they do the same thing, but they do need to know that since I was in their shoes once, I know all the lies and tricks to get around rules.
If they just tell me whats going on, I'm not going to have to worry, and think of all these images in my mind of what their doing, if they justtt tell me.
2 comments:
" if I was told not to do something, it made me want to do it more.. "
... I couldn't agree with you more, whenever I get in trouble, or yelled at, it always makes me want to go get in trouble .. because chances are what they were screaming about was something small, and they don't realize I could be out there doing worse things.
Trust is probably the most important factor to any relationship. There will probably be times when you feel that people have ruined your trust, but build it strong by listening to what they have to say and always try to be there for them,so you don't have to worry about your kids lieing to you when they are around the age of 16.
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